Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Walk Out

I wanted to admit something that most people cannot, I have never walked out of a movie that I paid for. Sure I have done some theater hopping in my life and walked out of a movie because I had to make it time for another one. Or there has been a time when I was wasting time between movies and would just randomly sneak into a movie to pass the time. But never have I paid for a movie, sat down, decided it was unwatchable and left. I give credit to my dad who took us to many bad movies throughout the years, and he never walked out. He had a different way to deal with movies that had no interest to him, he would start to sleep. I will admit that this has happened to me, in fact the #1 movie I would have walked out I feel asleep during. Here are some movies that looking back on, I might have walked out on.

1) Battlefield Earth (2000) -- This is by far one of the most unwatchable movie I felt I have seen, and I would have walked out if it was not for me falling asleep. As far as I can remember this is the first movie I feel asleep during and felt like it was okay. I would have most likely walked out of the movie even though I was seeing it my dad. I do not recall talking much about the movie afterwords, we probably switched to another movie after to make for this piece of shit.

2) Bewitched (2005) -- This was more on the audience then the movie, but the movie was pretty terrible as well. I believe I took a date (an ex girlfriend of mine). The movie had promise, Will Ferrell and Nicole Kidman seemed like a good comedy duo. The reason I wanted to walk out was because a member of the audience fell asleep and started to snore so loud that people started to laugh at him, including his family that was with him. Yes the logical response would have been to nudge and wake him up but they did no such thing. To add to all of this the theater was quite small and I could not hear the dialogue when this moron would snore. I was restored to actually yelling at the family, probably something mean. It was the first and only time I have done that. Eventually the guy woke up but by then I was pretty pissed off and unable to enjoy the movie anymore. From what I can recall the movie was pretty bad so it just lead to an overall terrible movie experience.

3) Spy Kids 3-D (2003) -- I went to see this with one of my best friends and his girlfriend at the time. On the way there they started to bicker a little and I could tell I was in for a long night. When we sat down I do not think anyone talked at all, ah a lover quarrel! Between that the movie I felt I would have walked out, but I usually will not walk out on a movie if others are around. I think I spent most of the movie making jokes in my head about it. To give the movie some credit I had never seen the first two Spy Kids but I still think that would not help out much.

4) Wing Commander (1999) -- A movie based off a hit video game, who would have thought this Matthew Lillard and Freddie Prize Jr. movie would be bad? I mean the director actually directed the video games, isn't a movie just the same thing? Um No! I can tell you why I went to see this movie and it was really for one reason, it was the only way (pre-internet) you could get a glimpse at the Star Wars Episode I trailer. "Sad to say, the only thing good about "Wing Commander", the latest 'movie based on a video game', is the impressive trailer for the upcoming "Star Wars" prequel, "The Phantom Menace". After that, you might as well leave, because it all goes downhill from that point on." -- The movie was garbage, I should have walked out right after the trailer or snuck into another movie right after. But Episode I would be better, right?

5) Aeon Flux (2005) -- I was looking forward to this movie based off the kick ass MTV 5 minute segments. If SNL showed us anything with their movies base of skits anyone can go from a 3-5 minute segment and make it into a successful 90 minute movie...right? Exactly, this is no Pat The Movie but it ranks up close. I just hated this movie for some reason. I am sure it is not the worst movie I have seen but I guess I was just in a mood to see something better that day but I can still recall how bad I thought this movie was. I was bored to death during the movie. I am sure the only reason I didn't walk out was because I was with my dad, who probably was smart and feel asleep. Maybe one day I will give this movie another try.


slasherflix said...

Yep I have never walked out either. I fell asleep during Harry Potter and would have left High School Musical 3 and that movie with Cuba Gooding Jr. where the dog don't talk but they do in the trailer. Snow dogs?? fuck it.

Colonel Mortimer said...

I've walked out on three movies, nor I have I seen those 5 movies you listed, but did not pay for two of them, because I was working at a movie theatre.

1.) Jingle All the Way--decided to go home and sleep and missed the zany antics of various object being lobbed in Arnold and Sinbad's general crotch vicinity

2.) Mr Wrong--Ellen DeGenerous' one (straight) romantic comedy, so bad that my friend Melanie and I both throw up in the middle of the film (not in the theatre, but in the bathroom)

The one movie that I paid for and walked out was Running With Scissors, the deadliest unfunny Wes Anderson wannabe, the guy who directed that went on to have success with Glee, but this movie was wretched I will never watch anything he's associated with if I can help it. I actually went to the bathroom and intended to return but noticed that The Departed, which I had already seen, was just starting and decided to watch that again instead.

I remember seeing Ishtar with mom at the dollar theatre down the street from our place and she making us leave because there was a boob in the film, never saw it, though I hear it's actually not anywhere as bad as its reputation.

Wesley said...

So you didn't fall asleep during Boat Trip? That's cool. I will get you the DVD. It is cheap!

The only one of these five that I saw was Spy Kids 3-D...and that was with you. EVEN the 3-D parts weren't cool. I hated how it had you take off you 3-D glasses for parts of the movie and put them on for other parts.

That being said, I've never walked out of a movie theater either...

Katie said...

Ive never walked out, but I wish I had walked out of Son of Sam. My brother and I kept waiting for it to get better, but it didnt.