Sunday, September 7, 2008

Why Dwight?

Just a few words on Kindergarten Ninja (1993).  I like watching cheesy movies and getting some laughs but this one was just terrible. Yes I did laugh and so did my friend but mostly at how utterly terrible the acting, directing, and the constant montage fighting scenes.  Best of all the movie stars Dwight Clark, yes that Dwight Clark, the legendary San Franscisco 49ers Wide Reciever. I think he did the movie because it was for D.A.R.E. and he wanted to get the word out about getting kids off drugs, in fact the start of the movie you get an actual San Leandro Polic Officer inform you about D.A.R.E. Anyway back to the movie Clark is Blade Steel and he likes to date more then one woman at a time and drive around town drinking. When a cop pulls him over he is so cool he offer the cop a beer! That takes balls! Somehow he winds up teaching kindergarten ? Anyway he gets help from an angel named Bruce (who is suppose to look like Bruce Lee) but you cannot tell since they never show his face, its fucking weird! But there is a badass Bruce Lee vs Elvis and George Washington in heaven scene. So the bad guy is called Hector Machette, awesome name! But he is making kids deal Buzz, the newest way to get high. Anyway i do not wish to ruin the greatness that is Kindergarten Ninja. 

If you are ever in the mood for some ultimate cheesy movie and want to waste 82 min of your life then see this movie. It holds more meaning to bay area fans. You even get a part in the movie were Blade Steel aka Clark, mentions his resturant and they actually have some text scroll saying where his own resturant Clarks by the Bay is located and give out an actual fucking phone number to call to make reservations! I guess this was one more reason he did the movie besides helping with the DARE program. I was able to find one clip on YouTube of the bad guy Machette kick ass and and taking names, he sure can beat up little kids good. The scene like most of the movie makes no damn sense. Enjoy, btw you can rent the movie on netflix if you ever want to, Why is this on dvd and not good movies like Night of the Creeps? Enjoy! 

1 comment:

slasherflix said...

"Wanna get some fries? Everyone loves fries."-Blade Steel-Former Gold Rush superstar turned cop.